


I've Been Here Before

by DefaltManifesto



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angsty Schmoop, Drabble-esque, Gentle Sex, Multi, PTSD, Rough Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-25
Updated: 2014-06-25
Packaged: 2018-02-06 05:41:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1846459
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DefaltManifesto/pseuds/DefaltManifesto
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sometimes Bucky only needs Steve. Sometimes he needs more. Steve's not above sharing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I've Been Here Before

**Author's Note:**

> 90% of this was written by a super jet-lagged me when I was in London. So apologies in advance I guess. Comments are loved though! Title taken from Locked Out by Red Wire Black Wire cuz I can't stop listening to it.

Steve still couldn't get over how needy Bucky was. Bucky had always been a handful of course, but the more the programming wore off, the needier he became, like he was desperate to prove to himself that he wasn't a monster for the things he had done. Steve could never turn him away, would never want to.

Bucky clawed his way out of his nightmares screaming. They weren't so frequent now. It had been a year since SHIELD and HYDRA fell together, eight months since he'd finally started staying with Steve, but they still happened. Steve was just grateful it wasn't every night like it used to be. Seeing Bucky in that sort of pain always hurt.

Some nights, Bucky would throw himself out of bed and punch the hell out of the punching bags Stark insisted would never break under the brunt of Bucky's metal arm. So far, that claim proved to be right. Other nights, Bucky would wrap himself like an octopus around Steve. The worst though, that was when Bucky clung to him, shaking and pretending not to cry. It always made Steve's heart ache.

Most times, Steve would just have to wait for Bucky to work through it on his own and just offer his stable and warm body for support. Other times though, other times Bucky needed more. A kiss, a firm hand, a reminder that he was loved and cherished and would never be anything but that.

It had been a bit odd at first. Even after the serum during their days with the rest of the Howling Commandos, Bucky had never been the one in need of taking care of. Or rather, he _was_ but refused to let Steve do that for him, insisting over and over again to make sure Steve understood how much _he_ was loved. Back then, Steve supposed he _had_ needed more help than any of them, lost and confused in his own body in a way that Bucky knew all too well thanks to Zola's experiments on him. But Bucky had been the only one that understood, the only one who knew how to worship every odd and new line of his body.

Now, Steve was the one who did that with Bucky. The man constantly shied away from using his metal arm, or letting Steve touch it, as though he were afraid Steve would suddenly reject him. Steve made a point of treating the arm just like his other, kissing it and sucking at it and staring into Bucky's eyes all the while. Bucky would squirm and eventually look away, but he'd curl the fingers of his free hand into Steve's hair and urge him on.

Sometimes though, Steve wasn't enough. Those nights were nights Steve was most grateful for Tony's insistence that they move into the tower. A word from Steve and JARVIS would politely ask whoever was awake to go to the room Steve and Bucky shared on Steve's floor.

It was similar, in Steve's mind, to what they used to do back during WWII with the Howling Commandos. Bucky, back then, had been the most broken of them all, especially when they'd first gotten out of Zula's torture camp. His nightmares kept them all awake, so soon, they just set to wearing Bucky out. Between all of them, they had always been able to drive Bucky right out of his head.

The nights Natasha and Clint and Bruce joined them were the nights that Bucky often felt like he was becoming a part of the team. He knew it was fucked up, but he always felt alone in the light of day, like he didn't quite fit into the team dynamic. Sex though? Sex was basic. Sex made sense, made him feel good, loved and cherished and worshipped and used all at once.

Steve would back off those nights and let the other three take control. He was the ever present and watchful eye though, able to make the others ease up with just a light touch or a word. It was nice, because Bucky didn't have to think about anything, only let them use him, and let Steve worry about the rest.

Bruce was perhaps the roughest of them all. He always went first, shoving Bucky down on the floor and taking him like that, in whatever position Bucky fell. The man was mild-mannered and Bucky could tell that he was always just rough because he knew that was what Bucky needed. The morning after, Bruce always made a habit of looking Bucky over to make sure he was okay, but during, he made an absolute mess of Bucky, fucking him until he was in tears, until his knees had rug burn, and he was begging to come.

Natasha was second, because she always insisted that Bucky came inside her. She was possessive of him, his body, and would claw her nails across his chest just to see her mark on his skin. She would never let him come until she had at least twice, her words and stare alone enough to convince Bucky to hold on just a little longer. Once she had her fill though, she had Bucky screaming her name into his forearm as he came.

The moment she was off of him, Clint was sliding Bucky's legs up over his shoulders before driving in deep. Bucky, over sensitized with a few tears leaking out of his eyes at this point, would grasp desperately at Clint's hair and kiss him hard as a way to anchor himself to what he was feeling. Steve would usually start petting his hair at that point, and when Clint finally came inside him, Bucky was hard again. Clint would kiss him for a little while before pulling out and then he'd step back to let Steve deal with the rest.

Usually Bucky couldn't handle much more than a quick hand job before he was collapsing against Steve's chest and clinging hard to his shoulders, too out of his mind to even think of being self conscious about his metal arm. Natasha, Clint, and Bruce would pile onto the bed then and wrap Bucky up in their shared warmth until Bucky had fallen asleep before slowly trickling out of the room one by one.

The nights that Sam hung around longer than usual, he usually joined Steve and Bucky in their bed as well. It wasn't a matter of needing to get Bucky out of his head, it was just something fun, and Bucky _liked_ Sam, would gush about him to Steve when he wasn't around, and Steve wasn't opposed to sharing his bed with someone they both considered such a close friend.

Sam was just like Steve, in the way that he never let Bucky feel like any part of him wasn't cherished. He didn't seem the least bit awkward, navigating around Bucky's arm, and encouraged him to use it to grip Sam's hip or his side when Sam was fucking him, and let him on numerous occasions open Sam up with it so he could take Steve's cock at the same time.

Unlike the others, Sam didn't leave their bed afterwards. He'd stay until Bucky fell asleep, then kiss Steve and fall asleep as well. Steve loved Bucky, and he knew the rest of the team did too. He supposed that should have made him jealous, but he was just pleased to know that Bucky would always have someone willing to show him just how much he was loved and cherished.

As much as Steve loved their time spent with other people, he loved their moments alone together the most. The times when he and Bucky would lounge around the tower all day, letting the warmth of the sun streaming through the windows sink into their bones. The times they'd curl up on the floor watching a movie and fall asleep, the times Bucky would hold still with a lot of humming and hahhing as Steve sketched him, the times they both grew too antsy with all the sitting still and would spar in the training room.

It was the life with Bucky that Steve had always wished he could have back in their small apartment in Brooklyn. They'd taken the long way to find their slice of happiness, but taking care of each other was hardly a burden for either of them. Steve would prefer that neither of them had to go through the pain they did to get to where they were, but he'd take the long way every time if it meant he'd get to spend the rest of his days at Bucky's side.


End file.
